TRIP ADVISOR

Monday, August 28, 2006

want to forget your English? Go ahead..

An essay was written by a Bihari Candidate in India
I hope, You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC (IAS) Examinations.
The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.] He is sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such attachment]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth.Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species. Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza ] , in hand , and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child.
This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies
We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.
and
is now an IAS, in Bihar
We have better IAS officers here??.
Forwarded to me by my son Benjamin who is working for Dell computers..

9 comments:

Orani said...

:-))) :-)))

A typical way of writing essays in Indian exams ;-)

delphine said...

Thanks Praba. I really enjoyed this too...

மா.கலை அரசன் said...

மேடம் நான் அவரது ஆங்கில புலமையைப்!... பற்றிக்கூட ஆச்சிரியப்படவில்லை. ஏனெனில் கிராமங்களில் படிப்போர் நிறைய பேருக்கு இதே பிரச்சனை இருக்கின்றது. ஆனால் அவரது பசு பற்றிய பொது அறிவை! பார்க்கும் போதுதான் தலையில் கைவைக்கத்தோன்றுகின்றது. இவர்கள் எல்லாம் நிர்வாக பொருப்பிற்கு வரும் போது... நாட்டின் நிலை வருத்தத்திற்குறியதே.

sam said...

don't worry கலை அரசன் et al. - since an essay on 'cows' will not be in IAS exams. this should have been written by a 5th to 7th student. and for that level it is so good. for instance look at the usages: His only attacking and defending organ is the horns,...instantly proceed(s) with great velocity forwards.

i know still lousier language among our college students than that of this Bihar boy!

i had a nice essay written not by our students but by the native speakers. quite hilarious.it was a treasure cove. sadly i missed it. some examples:
Lincoln's mother died when she was a child.
Nile was used for irritation.
(Originals were much better!)

sam said...

sorry, left a word in the previous comment. 'this should have been written by a 5th to 7th standard student.
if you want to ENJOY more such English why not visit this post of mine?

delphine said...

Thank you Kalai arasan..
Thanks for visiting my blog.

இவர்கள் எல்லாம் நிர்வாக பொருப்பிற்கு வரும் போது... நாட்டின் நிலை வருத்தத்திற்குறியதே//
Yes . you are right.

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when an alien language is imposed on people. Language teaching has to become more functional, with stress on the spoken form. In a backward state with poor educational infrastructure and new generations of learners, this is quite understandable. Elitist perspectives will not lead to solutions

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when an alien language is imposed on people. Language teaching has to become more functional, with stress on the spoken form. In a backward state with poor educational infrastructure and new generations of learners, this is quite understandable. Elitist perspectives will not lead to solutions

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when an alien language is imposed on people. Language teaching has to become more functional, with stress on the spoken form. In a backward state with poor educational infrastructure and new generations of learners, this is quite understandable. Elitist perspectives will not lead to solutions