TRIP ADVISOR

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Teenage Ignorance.... Is this that we expect from our teenagers?

Pressure and pain are realities of life.
Some lessons can be learned only after a miserable mistake. I see it all. What causes a girl to trash her life for a transient affair? A teenage girl's energy gets focused elsewhere. Moral collapse is rarely a blowout; it's more like a slow leak--the result of a thousand small indulgences.Anushya,(name changed) an eighteen year old unmarried girl, comes from a very affluent family, doing her second year undergraduate in a Ladies' College that is pronounced for its discipline. She was 'lying in' the hospital, her eyes swollen with pain fixed to the ceiling and her whole body and mind in agony. Her mother looked greatly relieved from what she was the previous day. Anushya had come to the hospital along with her mother for a consultation for her ‘missed periods’. The Obstetrician, who knew them over a decade, could not obviously jump to a conclusion. So she asked for an Ultra Sonogram and it was reported as a live fetus of about 16 weeks (4months) size. The family was totally devastated. The parents literally begged the doctor to get rid of the illegal addition to the family. And so Anushya had to go through all the procedures of getting the fetus out. And she knew the PAIN that struck her body and mind!Now who is to be blamed? Is it the girl? Being very beautiful slim and tall, now lying as a bundle of pain and unwanted! Why did she spoil the freedom that her parents gave her? The Trust! Was she not taught by the parents and the college about the repercussions of pre-marital sex? Did she plan the affair or did she just transit into it. Did she realise that her wrongdoing will mutate the family? She didn't care who gets hurt as long as she got what she wanted.The boy! Who was just two years older than her for misusing this beautiful bundle!The parents for giving her all the freedom to go around with her friends unmindful of opening the gate when she came home late nights! Presenting her the costliest mobile gadget and not checking on with whom she was talking for hours together. Giving a ‘pocketful of money’ to spend as she liked.

15 comments:

priya said...

//Was she not taught by the parents and the college about the repercussions of pre-marital sex//

India has changed or adopted to western ways of dress patterns, language, technology and education. But when you say culture, ppl' do not accept it. They still talk back our culture is 1000 yrs old and its just the few ppl'...

Modernisation has taken plave long back, but people do not accept it in public coz they say they preserve their culture.

If a family is very conservative and someone deviates, the society says:
1. he/she was given little freedom (OR)
2. His/er parents did not bring him/er up well (OR)
3. S/he took advantage.

Do you think youngsters do listen or take advice from their parents. Many will say, forget about those oldies & lets hang out.

College doesn't bother coz it will say, we respect students who study here and give credits to
students who study well. Do you think they care??

Premarital sex: People think its pretty normal in developed countries. Ther are many families who really care about their children and talk to them about it at the right age and give protection.
In India, I will be surprised to see how many discuss or talk such issues to their daughters and sons when they grow up. They need better knowledge and education about sexual education.

Peer pressure: Many undergo such stress right from school , college and workplace. Ppl' make it a point that someone shud hangout with someone else. This pressure brings them to a point to grab what they like and make them popular with their groups/ gangs. Ther is a feeling of being leftalone if your not part of the group.

Parents: They cannot monitor every sec' of what their child does. They trust, but when that trust is taken advantage, you cannot blame the parents.
If their is a law saying no to "abortion", as a doctor you will continue to protect her and her baby.
You can only take a horse to the water, but cannot make it drink!!!

delphine said...

You can only take a horse to the water, but cannot make it drink!!! /////
How absolutely true Priya,
people feel so bad if sex is talked about, but see the number of of murders that has been happening in Tamilnadu. It is so heart breaking to read in the news paper about all these unwanted relationships. Yes they only trash the life.
More than my write up, your suggestions sound very good. How can we help the teenagers?

Orani said...

Dear Doc,

//Was she not taught by the parents and the college about the repercussions of pre-marital sex?//

My belief is that, probably, as you have mentioned the lack of communication between the kids and parents, could be one of the reasons for the unwanted exploration at the earliest.

Just blindly following the Western culture as a model culture for everything, surely, brings untold suffering to ones life. Here, the dating and hang out with opposite sex starts as early as 14 years as boy and girl friends. In spite of the school system at some state distribute condoms (NY school) as a precautionary measure while parents talk about the consequence of PMS, still the PMS is so common.

Possibly, my guess regarding this, is, something to do with vanishing family value and love, put the kids under stress and look out for in other sources(?!). It needs some study.

Good topic to discuss. Thanks.

Orani.

tbr.joseph said...

Hi Delphine!

Possibly, my guess regarding this, is, something to do with vanishing family value and love, put the kids under stress and look out for in other sources(?!). //

As Orani has said it is also one of the reasons.

The youngsters who are under tremendous amount of stress due to high expectation from their parents, the competition from the friends make them vulnerable to this type of timepass!

They don't realise that it is they who are going to fall prey to such fancy thoughts.

India would never adopt the Western culture.. even after another hundred years. We could at best only imitate them.. with such dire consequences.

The parents should realise that and give only that amount of freedom which would not make their children live in a make-belief world of fantasy..

delphine said...

Thank you Orani..
the satellite TV right inside our living room.. and watching all these serials...is also one cause..Am I right?
Thank you for your visit.

priya said...

Well as a Doctor you must be in social organizations/ local Rotary/Lions club member, where you can bring awareness to youth. You can give speech based on womens health and its effects.
When people fight to bring AIDS awareness, why not talk about premarital sex. Its not a shame. Its science and you only specify what and how women have to deal in their life.
It can also help people who are sexually abused and who remain silent.
To learn and know about human body is not a shame, but it is science and education.

Orani said...

Dear Doc,

//the satellite TV right inside our living room.. and watching all these serials...is also one cause..Am I right?//

Exactly, the other major source to look at it, is "Media" creating an unpleasant exposure to youngs kids, suggesting that if you look like so and so, you are considered to be "the inclusive" otherwise, you are dropped socially. So the belief system is firmly placed in young minds to follow a mirage.

I have touched a bit about this at my tamil site the URL is here;
http://thekkikattan.blogspot.com/2006/05/tv.html

delphine said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
delphine said...

Thank you Joseph Sir. I am happy to see eminent people like you visit my blog. Yes. I fully agree with you on vanishing family value and as you and Orani feels most of our youngsters try to copy others. I have seen young girls fighting with their parents to acquire what the other children possess.(except knowledge). The three decades of my life has made me to realize the vast change that is going on in our culture. we have to accept changes but not at the cost of the children. Thank you Sir. Have a great week end.

delphine said...

To learn and know about human body is not a shame, but it is science and education////
Priya, I was asked to give a speech in a high school about family planning methods (Earler it was a part of the curriculum for twelth students.) I took with me all the specimens to explain to the young girls. The Principal of the institution (who happened to be a NUN )was very unhappy with me and so I had to return home very dissappointed. how do u feel about this. as elders we have to tell them is n't it?

delphine said...

Hello Orani! Thank you for your visit again. will visit your blog on Monday. My Computer is getting serviced. There is no Tamil font in the hospital computer.enjoy your week end!

priya said...

/as elders we have to tell them is n't it? /

Very much indeed. As a professional and as a mother you should need to talk. You can use some pamphlets regarding the plus and minus when you see some patients and with their acceptance, you can give them. Some messages need public participation and you can do it.

delphine said...

Thank you Priya. I am delighted to about this. Right now I am in anew place . I am getting to know more people here and I will start going for lectures in ladies colleges soon. Thank you again.

செல்வன் said...

I think sex education in schools will solve this problem.Youngsters should be educated about safe sex.Parents cant do that,only schools can do that.

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