Monday, July 03, 2006

Plan your life....

This one word is described differently by different people. To some it is a commitment, to some bondage and for some it is an end to their freedom, but to many others it is a great companionship and an eternal friendship.
A couple of generations back, marriages lasted for a life time. To day in most cases they don’t even last for the next day. So what has made the change within these past few years? Can this catastrophe, where two individuals wow to be with each other till “death do us part”, but cannot see each other as soon as the honey moon period is over, be blamed on one factor? No not at all. There are so many contributing factors.
Today money is valued more than relationships. Money carries us around the ‘merry go around’. Many marriages are breaking down due to money matters, illegal relationships, insecurity, lack of adjustment, and not setting up any goal in life.
Some couples form a join account and they spend from that though they are financially independent. Some women feel very secure that even if they lose their job, they would be taken care of by their husband. There is no ‘yours’ and ‘mine’. It is all ‘ours’.
In some cases the wives leave the matter entirely to their husbands. All the accounts are in the husband’s name and they are shocked to find out that they are penniless one day as their husbands carry affairs with other ladies and the money is gone. They get severely bitten off as they are left penniless. At times they have no other choice but to stay with the husband. There are also women who indulge in overspending and put the husband into severe debt.
There are individuals who feel marriage is a sharing on equal basis. This means that they even share the restaurant bills apart from their mobile, electricity and other bills. ‘You pay yours and I will pay mine’ is also an attitude seen with many couples.
There are very few people who maintain a budget and spend accordingly.
All these are sheer mind boggling complexity. There are so many disagreements in the day to day life among couples and arguments as to who is the greater of the two.
No two individuals are alike. Just some precautionary methods in spending the money, sharing of thoughts and setting up a goal in life will definitely put an end to all these conflicts.
Plan your life and lead a stress free life…


aaradhana said...

well, madam. you have said it right. This is a great writing.

delphine said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. Looks like u too are my category. write a lot.

tbr.joseph said...

Hi Delphine!

To some it is a commitment, to some bondage and for some it is an end to their freedom, but to many others it is a great companionship and an eternal friendship.//

How wonderfully put!

As you said marriage is slowly losing its significance especially in a world where money and material play a major role in life..

Frankly speaking we in our family do not practice budgetting as it has led to unnecessary arguments, bitter feelings in the past..

Both of us know that we don't spend only on essential things.. My wife and children are also aware what my income is and that I would never borrow. I have brought up my children in such a way that they know the value of money..

That's the most important thing. If all in the family know the value of money, how difficult it is to earn and how easy it is to spend there is no need for any budgetting..

I've been practising this successfully all these years and I can cofidently say that this responsibility is shared by everyone in my family..

tbr.joseph said...

we don't spend only on essential things.. //

Delphine it should read as 'we don't spend on inessential things'

Sorry for the error:)

delphine said...

Thank you Joseph Sir. It is great to have a family like yours. Thank you once again.

karthikeyan said...

yes u well said, but i think in this fast world we have to accept this thing , becoz we r moving towards the western culture,I think it will change after two or three decades.thanks for ur writing, keep it mam.

Orani said...

Dear Doc,

The Union you are talking about is losing its significance becuase of the parameters you have mentioned. On top of it, the mis-used (or rather mis-interpreted) freedom and independency concepts, among, in the so called civilized people.

When the freedom does not have a boundary where to draw a line and how to use it wisely; it backfires, plus it leads to a degraded, less desirable society to live in. When a society itself, loses, the structure of safe gaurding the rough time of couples by being a role model to get over the petty issues as they grow together to the fruition of golden time.

So does the individual relationship too. Since, the other people as a part of the society do not have time to counsel freely in day to day life (busy chasing money, fame, ever growing materials etc.,).

Right now the divorce rate in the USA is 42%, still it is soaring high.

The parameters you have mentioned, is exactly well pronounced in the West and possibly upper middle class families in India.

Though, the trend is alarming, lots of broken families are around, the by-product of that is confused children to the society. Who is here to study this societal-evil to stop from spreating?


P.S: Some of the serial killers in the West were from such an environment only.

delphine said...

Thank you ttk77 Karthick. I am glad you read my write up. It is really nice to work with you all.

delphine said...

Dear Orani,
"the by-product of that is confused children to the society///
This is very sad isn't it?
Your Tamil Blog, the write about The actresses who went into Iyappan temple is so good.